Dear Body

Dear Body,

It wasn’t just one day.  It was a whole bunch of days and a whole bunch of people and a whole bunch of words and images…they were all shoved at me.  They were all shoved at me and fed into my brain telling me that YOU were less than some of the other skin coverings walking around. They were telling me that YOU were not as beautiful.  They were telling me that YOU were less worthy of love.  They were telling me that YOU needed to change.  They were telling me that YOU would never be loved looking the way you did.

Dear Body,

It is not up to me to apologize for the people who touched you without permission.  I do want to say I am sorry for that burning sensation you get whenever a hand grazes your vagina in the wrong way.  I want to apologize for the way your heart beats without a chance of escape from it’s cage when you see someone who looks like them.  I want to soothe the mind that you hold when you wake up in a cold sweat from the memories that forever haunt you…but it not up to me to say I am sorry.

Dear Body,

I know I have been hard on you.  I am not talking about all of the times I fell down and bruised you.  I am speaking of the times I did not give you the nourishment you needed to thrive because I was willing you to be smaller.  The times I deprived you of the energy you needed because I so desperately wanted to walk in a different skin because I believed you were not good enough to contain the soul I was given.  The days and nights I stayed awake so I did not need to sleep in you knowing that when I woke up…my skin would still look like YOU.

Dear Body,

Please forgive me for all of the terrible things I have said to you.  I did not know the power you contained within you.  The power to carry me through illness that would of killed others.  The strength to hold the hands of others needing love they could not find anywhere but YOUR skin.  A tenderness, so soft babies beg to fall asleep against it but so resilient the broken beg for it to accompany them into battle.

Dear  Body,

Thank you for not giving up when my brain begged you for release from the pain in my soul.  YOU carried demons meant to release me from this world.  Yet, YOU told me I had work to finish.  I was not ready to give up.  YOU reminded me I was bigger than the pain that was plaguing me.

Dear Body,

Thank you for knowing the beauty YOU had when my heart could not see it.   YOU could see the jewel held within my skin when my eyes failed to relay the message to my spirit.  While the world was telling me YOU were not good enough, YOU continued to create a landscape of peaks and valleys and lines.  YOU left a roadmap of where I had been and where I can go.  YOU saw the uniqueness that only this skin can hold.

Dear Body,

Although I can not promise you everyday with me is going to be easy, I can promise I will do my best to love YOU and treat YOU than I did the day before.  I will not let this world’s view on what and who they think YOU should be effect who YOU are.  YOU are amazing and I will not let ME forget it.

With Love,
KateJust Be You

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