Myspace, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Kik…and the million other social medias outlets. They give us a space to create the person we want to be…in some cases, they let us be the person we are without others knowing it is the person we are on the inside. We are able to sharpen our wit, let out our tenderness, filter our pictures so we are the beautiful girl we want to be. Strangers fall in love with the person they see online. The filters make us beautiful and charming. We say the right things because our inner fear isn’t imposed behind a keyboard. Our history isn’t staring at us through the screen.
What happens when real life comes along? What happens when a screen isn’t in front of you and you can’t hit delete when the words come out wrong…when you can’t apply a filter to soften the features you aren’t so fond of? What happens when your #ANXIETY becomes real life anxiety? Why is it those things are beautiful and intriguing online and #NOFILTER is something everyone wants to claim but when faced with it in reality it becomes the most terrifying thing ever?
My last year of teaching my professional goal was to learn how to filter what I was saying and be more professional in my demeanor. I tend to have a soft spot for calling a bullshitter a bullshiter and pulling no punches. I have found that doesn’t always work well in the business world. Expecting things to be above the table and out in open or #NOFILTER are not “business tactics.” People expect a softer more tip toe approach. We say we want truth however I have learned we only want truth when truth is advantageous to us. We don’t want truth when it is going to upset us, when it isn’t what we want to hear, it is going to hurt us or goes against our beliefs. We want #PARTIALFILTER. This is in everything…business, family, love, health…you name it.
We boast about our #NOFILTER when it comes to beauty. We are told to be natural…but throw on that corset and clinch it tight. You know what would look great with that? Thigh highs and heels…don’t forget red lipstick. You can’t just wear red lipstick…you need to have cat eyes. Now, let me take a picture, turn your face, let’s adjust the lighting, sit up straight, put your hand in front of your tummy roll…no, of course your stretch marks are sexy…they just don’t look right in this picture. Everything is perfect in this picture. You don’t need a filter. Of course there is a little cellulite but we can airbrush it…there still #NOFILTER. Do you have on your most natural smile?
Tell me about you…I want to know everything. Tell me your favorite movie…what makes you smile…what do you want to do in 20 years? Don’t cry. I don’t want to hear about the times you had nowhere to live or those men that hurt you. I don’t want to know the bad parts. I don’t want to know about the parts of you that don’t sparkle. I want to know why you are Sunshine. Tell me what makes you Sunshine when you are built of storms. I don’t want to see your#NOFILTER.